From Open Letter To Kansas School BoardYou may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.
What score do I need on the Essential Skills test to become a pirate?
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for interest in this field and in ending global warming.
ReplyDeletePeople interested in this field must meet the following essential skills criteria (a score of 80% is required):
Reading Text
- must be able to recognize the letter X on a map
Document Use:
- reading treasure maps and following directions to X (treasure)
Numeracy
- demonstrated ability to use sextant for navigation
Writing
- must be able to write X in correct location on map
Oral Communication
- must be fluent in terminology such as ahoy there, matey, land ho, walk the plank, …
Working with Others
- piracy does not depend highly on these skills, in fact an ability to work with others can sometimes be a hindrance
Thinking Skills
- must demonstrate ability to double-cross, plan mutinies and attacks, develop strategies for plundering and pillaging
- ability to differentiate manatees from mermaids may be an asset
Computer Use
- n/a
Continuous Learning
- adapt to new technologies (firearms, navigation)